My hardships as a woman and what makes them better

March 8, 2018 International Women’s Day

What better day to share my womanhood struggles and what makes them better? International Women’s Day has been recognized on March 8th in every country since the early 1900’s. It honors the continuous movement for women’s rights. There are numerous social issues women face, even today, in every single country on the planet. Even living in what some call the best country in the world also known as the land of the free, as an American woman, I feel oppressed every single day.
Somedays, being a woman in America is really hard. It’s hard being a 32-year-old newlywed who lives in a rural area where good paying jobs with benefits are hard to come by. It’s also frustrating to be unable to acquire affordable health insurance. It’s challenging to enjoy my new life as a wife when the debt my husband and I have acquired over the past year (from basic living necessities) are a constant reminder of how the life we live isn’t even close to the life want.

Since I finished college in 2009, I’ve had several jobs. During college at University of Kentucky, I lived in Lexington. After college I moved to Portland, Oregon but after losing interest in my partner at the time, landed myself a spot back home. Home is a rural town in Western Kentucky. Long story short, the first job I had upon moving home was at a local pharmacy where I met a pharmacist who is now my husband. My husband (Wade) was previously married and as a result, has a son. When I chose to marry Wade, I also chose uncut ties with Western Kentucky. Wade would never want to live far away from his son and I would never want him to.

Needless to say, after Wade and I began dating my job at the pharmacy was replaced by feelings and emotions of other estrogen skulking the space behind the pharmacy counter. No hard feelings though, working with the one I spent all of my free time with wasn’t ideal anyway.

Since then, I’ve had a couple jobs that’ve kept me up. One being for the state of Kentucky that was extremely draining and emotional for very little pay and another being for an organization that, at the end of day, didn’t match up to my moral standards. Meanwhile I have applied for numerous positions, even attended several interviews, only to still find myself between a rock and hard place. I am smart and I have a lot of skills in a broad spectrum of work related experiences. Unfortunately, when it comes down to it…. The job opportunities in Western Kentucky are far from plentiful.

In an attempt to make money I have an Etsy store and now I am trying out blogging. So, if you’re reading this, it truly means a lot.

Because affordable health insurance is currently unattainable in this country, it is a crisis for a great deal of Americans, especially women. Not only is it putting women and their health at great risk, it is oppressing them. I was able to afford health insurance for myself until I got married. Wade is a pharmacist (which means I no longer qualify for a plan I can afford on a monthly basis) and even though he makes a decent salary, he is currently the only one bringing home any funds. Not only is he solely responsible for all of our financial responsibilities as husband and wife, he also has a 9-year-old son he is financially responsible for. And of course, we have that monthly child support to pay out, too. Adding into the budget an outrageously and ridiculously overpriced healthcare plan is out of the question. Wade is insured though his employer and so is his son. I know what you’re thinking! Just have him add you to his work plan! Great idea! Just kidding, because that would be over $700 a month.

I feel oppressed… Ohh, wait!

I am an American woman being socially oppressed in the good old land of the free. My health is currently at risk.

I want to have a baby but… I can’t.

How about that?

Since Wade and I’s wedding in October 2017: I have lost my health coverage, we have acquired debt (wedding and honeymoon expenses), I have been unable to find employment worth a damn, and we are over here trying to figure it all out.

As an American woman, Womanhood is hard. I am oppressed.

My life is on hold.

America needs more jobs that offer affordable benefits.

I need change and new policy in government aimed at health rights for American women.

I deserve health insurance. I have a right, as do all Americans, to affordable health coverage.

I just want to be a woman whose womanhood is available!

These are my hardships. These issues are part of my womanhood.


I get up every day, I kiss my husband before he gets up to get in the shower, and then I head to the kitchen to make us coffee. I head back our bedroom, I make our bed and then I go throughout house and open all the blinds to let the day in. I turn on the today show and I sit and talk to Wade before he leaves for work around 7:30AM. Once he’s on his way, I hit the shower. I get ready for the day and I do the best I can.

I apply for more jobs, follow up on ones I’ve previously inquired on and check out the inventory for my Etsy store.

I like to browse social media. I can see how everyone is doing. Let’s face it, people love to tell how shit’s going in their lives and we love to hear about it. I do anyways. I like to know what people have accomplished, what they’re proud of, about their happiness, why they’re mad or upset. I want to know people’s struggle; what ails them. I want to know these things so I can, somehow positively, contribute to their lives. Maybe I can congratulate them, encourage them, thank them or even better, maybe I can actually do something to help them.

EXAMPLES of what makes life BETTER

·       Recently (via Facebook) I learned a friend I went to high school with lost pretty much everything to a house fire. As soon as I discovered this I immediately knew I had a quilt, 2 pillow shams, 2 lamps and some other home décor items I wanted to give to her. Also, because it was winter time, I chose a hat and a pair of gloves of mine to give her. I know, it’s not much but I definitely wanted to help anyway I could. I messaged her on FB and told her what I had, asked her if she would like it and then made plans to deliver it to her. I was so thrilled she did and was more than happy to take them to her.

·       One day I noticed a friend of mine and her husband (went to school with both of them) were experiencing something difficult. I hand crafted a greeting card, wrote a kind message in it, and mailed to them. They messaged me via FB and expressed how much it meant to them.

·       Other friends of mine, from college, experienced a tragic life event and I also made them a card and dropped it in the mail. I want people to know they are cared for, that love does exist and most importantly I want to live by a love ethic!

·       I have 3 sisters and 2 of them have children. They call me for help all the time. I am always glad to help them. I want to help them.

·       My grandparents need me, they use me and I am thankful EVERYDAY I am able to do so.

·       I donate things to local organizations.

·       I do things for myself and my husband helps me do so.

·       I read books. The more you read, the more you’ll know.

I do good deeds every day. I do them because I want to. I do them because it makes me feel good and makes me a better woman. I do them because it’s hard being a woman devastated about healthcare. A woman overwhelmed about women’s health and my own right to have children without the worry of the unfathomable costs OR risks of doing so without health coverage. I am constantly trying to find decent employment with benefits so I can contribute to my “debtful” life. Yet, despite all these hardships, I can still be a GOOD and HAPPY and at times FULLFILLED woman. I live by a love ethic. I find joy in the little things. I contribute what I can, with what I have to make this world a better place.

Thanks for learning about me and my womanhood.

Thanks for being here and reading my blog.

Life really is, all about love.

#pressforprogress #internationalwomensday #loveethic #loveethicforeverybody #themalloryeffect




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